Heart, Sass & Soul by Greta Solomon

Author:Greta Solomon [Solomon, Greta]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633539754
Publisher: Mango Media
Published: 2019-04-11T15:29:48+00:00

Chapter 6

Making Meaning in Dark Times

This chapter is an invitation to break through darkness into light—by making meaning. This can be any darkness (including a dark night of the soul). But I think the most bleak darkness of all is the death of a loved one, even if that loved one died through miscarriage.

As with the everyday losses I discussed in Chapter 5, it’s essential to honor the transition and put self-care at the forefront. There are organizations on hand that offer free professional support. But remember that they won’t beat a path to your door. You have to seek them out. And make sure you follow your instincts in your bereavement and grief journey.

This is something I didn’t manage to do too well. Instead, I was swayed by opinions, conflict, and drama. I was wracked with fear and woke up to regular night sweats. I was vulnerable and easily manipulated. I didn’t recover my inner strength and firm footing until at least two years after my mother’s death. And overriding it all was the feeling that there was no safety net for me.

I tried desperately to make meaning, and I don’t know if I did. But what I did do was write. And I’m here to tell you that, as a creative person, I feel that all you can do with the dark times in your life is to attempt to make meaning out of them, to try to create something out of the pain, sadness, and longing, to try find a chink of light and follow it where it leads.

So, in this chapter, I don’t really have answers—you hold all the answers, deep inside. But I do have questions, suggestions, and virtual hugs. Similarly, I don’t have a road map. But I can hold your hand as you navigate your unknown. And one day, as the old parable says, you may see that you were not buried, you were planted.

Let’s Start with Two Lessons in Love

1: Nothing Is for Free

I believe everything in life creates some kind of energy exchange. So, you always pay for everything—even if you don’t hand over a penny. It’s so important to be mindful of the interactions you have with others. Too many of the wrong kind, and you find that a little piece of your spirit dies. So consider: What are you doing for “free” or “freely” that is actually costing you? Where have you said “yes” when your body, heart, and soul were saying “no”? What are you believing that you need to question? And are you grieving your way, on your schedule? Because you can’t move on after death, you can only move through.

2: Things Fall Apart When They Need to Be Fixed

What signs are you getting that an old way of life is ending? Once I was cooking and had a burner on, and I didn’t realize that my hand was slowly burning. By the time I noticed, the skin on the back of my hand was bubbling. I

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